“We’re Simply Having a Tacky Christmastime”

My friend Emily and I went to Longview Lake Saturday night and drove through the Christmas light display. There was quite a long line of cars waiting to get in so it took about an hour of creeping bumper to bumper to get to the actual display. It wasn’t too bad though. We enjoyed good conversation and some festive music. She’d never heard Josh Groban, so I introduced her to him (I know you’re gasping now, Krystal!)  Also, providing some entertainment was a van full of people two cars ahead. We could have turned back when we saw the line, but we couldn’t wait to see what they would do next. Some of their antics have inspired this list of how to have a tacky Christmas:

1.  Pose for a picture near an elf in a unique way (i.e. make it look like he’s grabbing your behind).

2.  If you’re driving through a Christmas display and the line is moving slowly, it’s the perfect time for a bathroom break. How about behind that “Be Courteous” sign? Perfect place. And make sure to go in 3’s so everyone will be sure to watch.

3.  Everyone knows the best sales are after Christmas. Feign illness and buy all your presents the day after. No one will ever know you got them 90% off (unless you forget to remove the bright red clearance stickers).

4.  Experiment with Christmas recipes. The ones that aren’t to your liking will make perfect gifts.

5. Re-gift, but be smart about it. Take your gift from the office party and give it away at your Bible study group. Use that gift for a friend in another social circle.  Just be careful not to get your social circles crossed.   No more parties for the year? Save it for next year. Make sure to label it with the name of the person who gave it to you so you don’t look too tacky.

6. Make something homemade that utilizes duct tape.

7. Short on time? Give the supplies for something homemade and label “Some assembly required”.

8.  Buy a box of chocolates and eat your favorites. Use a sharpie to write favorite quotes on rocks to put in the empty holes. (i.e. “life is like a box of chocolates…..” or “The Lord loves a cheerful giver”).

9.  Take re-gifting to a whole new level. Someone give you something you don’t quite like? Take that ugly ornament, glue a few spangles and ribbons on it and give it back.  Don’t like that ugly scarf or tie? Craft it into a Christmas angel or potholder. Chances are they won’t remember that was the tie they gave you last year. And if they do, it’s a subtle way of telling them you didn’t like it.

10. Make sure to give gifts that people will feel obligated to share. It’s even better if they don’t care for the gift too much. (i.e. conveniently “forget” that someone’s allergic to peanuts and give them a bag of peanut M&Ms. Or give the dieter in your life a huge bunch of your favorite cookie).

11. Ask for a To-go box at any Christmas potlucks you go to (if anyone gives you trouble, it could be for a “sick” relative).

That’s all for now. I hope everyone has a wonderful, and safe Christmas! 

~ by tawnyamarie on December 24, 2007.

2 Responses to ““We’re Simply Having a Tacky Christmastime””

  1. I would like to take this opportunity to thank you for saving poor Emily from a Josh Groban-less life. So, you got the new Christmas CD? I love it. I think “It Came Upon a Midnight Clear” is my favorite.

  2. I had a great Christmas. I visited some friends in Southern California. I was scheduled to fly from San Francisco about 2:30 p.m. December 24. I was able to get a fly out at 8:05 a.m. That was a miracle from God. This enable me to get to my friend’s house in plenty of time to spend time with the family and attend the Christmas Eve Service. It was beautiful service at Church on the Way. I learned somethings. I learned that women go through a lot trouble to prepare for Christmas and the meals. Many mothers work a job and then take on the task of preparing Christmas meals. After talking and listening to my friend, I decided to take his family out to breakfast to make things easier for his wife.

    I got their three-year old son a coin set with coins minted the year he was born. This was a nice gift, but children need toys. On the last day, I decided to get him small Air Force One metal toy airplane. Christmas is for Christ and kids. We are all kids at Christmas.

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